Dreaming

         It's been a while since I have written to my unknown audience. The feeling that I don't need to know if and when anyone reads this is a peaceful feeling indeed, and it does give me the sense that the craziness in my head can somehow make sense out in the open. If I could say one thing that has been  in the forefront of my thinking and in my prayers, it has to be dreaming.
         I don't remember when I first started dreaming. I can; however, remember the years that dreaming was all I had. Some can call it the spirit of fantasy, but I would lye in bed at night often, and decide who and what I was going to be in my dreams that night. Looking back, dreaming like that kept hope alive in those tough times for me. It kept me from becoming a complete lunatic. Trust me, there were many times that I thought I was becoming a lunatic trying to cope with my circumstances.
Fast forward to the past few years, for a while I kept the dreaming down, not that I stopped all together, but I did slow it down. Maybe it was because life had improved so much for me, but whatever the case it did not seem needed as much.
       However, in the past few months I have realized something about dreaming. Through messages and dreams of my own I have revisited the subject and the philosophy behind it. Dreaming is one the parts of us that is most like God. It makes us believe in the impossible and think outside of ourselves. Believing in world that could be. It creates a hope in us to believe in a good God, and it reminds us even in the darkest of times that these moments can't  and won't last forever. To stop dreaming, we are deciding to cut ourselves off from the creativity and godliness hidden inside of each of us. Not to mention, the amount of prophetic and revelatory dreams people receive almost everyday without even being aware of it.
       There are a lot of dream-killers out there. Just waiting to destroy something you hold so fragile in your life. For a while, a dream in our life is like carrying around a piece of glass. We have to be careful how we carry it, who we  let see it, and if they will cherish it the way we do. Over time and as we let that dream grow in us, the glass develops strength and resistance. We are no longer as careful with it, because we've seen the dream stand the test of time. There does comes a time when the dream comes alive and no one can kill it or break it any longer. It is no longer a dream now, it has become a belief system. This is the way God designed dreams to work in us. Especially, the ones he has put in us. If our dreams our not shaping the reality around us, we are still be influenced by our circumstances and our failures.  The dream that becomes a belief system makes our minds become truly renewed. You can no longer stop the dreams from coming true, because it's deep inside, creating the reasons that they live.
       Jesus demonstrated this by the way he lived his life. He dreamed so much of the reality of the cross and the atonement in it, that he lived his life in view of that dream. Hebrews says... "For the joy that was set before him...he endured the cross.." The joy of fulfillment kept Jesus' eyes on the dream and the goal. The dream of redeeming man was not a fragile piece of glass, but a belief system and mindset that had grown deep in the person of Jesus.
      So today I challenge my unknown audience, what dream has God given you, what reality shift needs to take place in your life today? Dream! I tell you! Don't fear the process or the journey to seeing that dream come to life.
Dreaming is something that makes us so much like our creator. After all he dreamed us up, and he dreamed up how to redeem the dream and the people he was so crazy about. No devil in hell could stop him from seeing his dream come true. Neither should you.

Act of Valor

I wanted to write my own movie review about "Act of Valor." Having had many relatives that have served throughout the military forces, and a brother about to enter the Naval Academy, I feel like this movie definitely hit a soft spot on the inside. I found myself fighting back tears more than once in this film, and it moved me greatly. However, I want to address the Christian response from a Christian reviewer that I totally and completely disagree with. When the Passion of the Christ came out, many Christians began to report that it was too graphic and too violent, and that they didn't need to see how much Jesus paid for them, because they already knew it. My personal response, I wanted to then in turn, force them to sit and watch it and keep their eyes open. To me, it was like the Christian community loved the "theory" behind the sacrifice of Jesus, but didn't want to truly understand the price. We've developed this false sense of protection with our children and with our families. Meaning, I am going to protect my family from what I believe is right, because by not allowing them to see the true cruelty of man, I am in some way preparing them to go into the world?? How does this make sense? Now, don't misunderstand me. I am not saying I sit and watch every piece of film that comes out of Hollywood, but to say that a movie like "Act of Valor," is too graphic or violent, and that the total violence behind it doesn't need to be seen? Really?!?!? All I could think as I watched it was the fact that I could have never have done what they did for our country. I sat there talking to God the whole movie, and saying, "Papa, I feel bad because I feel like I don't have the courage to do the things these men did selflessly..." Then Papa answered, "Jared, they can do those things, because I've given them a special grace and courage to do it... I didn't call you to that, and therefore I didn't give you a grace for that...and you feel the difference in grace when you think about it." The reality folks is that man is cruel. Especially, when he is being motivated by the devil himself. Perhaps, we should realize the sacrifice it truly takes to keep this country safe. Putting aside religion for a moment. We have been promised, as citizens in this country, the right to life. However, there are men that believe that they can take that right to live away from us. Jesus' very mandate in John 10:10 was "that you might have life and have it abundantly." When I was growing up my grandmother used to say to me, "God gave man two forces, violence and romance. Violence so we would have the capacity to war against the enemy, and romance so we would have the capacity to love him.." We were created to rise up against injustice, it's programed into our very nature. That is why I become so infuriated with the people in our generation, who would seek to take down our military or would dishonor our men. Who would jeer at them, and write reviews saying that we should know but not see their sacrifice. I believe media is one of the most powerful tools we have on the planet. We can sit comfortably in our chairs, and walk in someone else's shoes (without having to be in danger in anyway), for even a moment, and get a taste of their world. Truly, our response to such should be compassion, respect, and gratitude. It is these men, that make it a reality, that would happened to that one CIA agent (drilling holes in our hands), isn't a regular occurrence in our country. For that I am eternally grateful. God bless our troops and our men in action. You are truly God's angels and armor on the front line for me. Thank you.

The Great Sadness

I have entered into a period I call, "The great sadness." I know I took that title from somewhere, but I can't remember where anymore. It's like this weekend all the pain that I have been going through all year long suddenly turned into sadness. I don't know what I wish to accomplish in writing this down, but maybe in a small way it will help to process the sadness. The sad thing about the sadness is that for so long I have wanted to cry, but couldn't. I felt like Cameron Diaz in "The Holiday" where she could never cry when she wanted to. Me either! I think in the great sadness I am finally learning that I have to accept others compassion for me. When I would talk to someone about what awful things were happening in my life, they would say how 'sorry' they were for my troubles, and I would immediately say "Oh it's not that big of a deal... WHO WAS I KIDDING?!?!?! Did it just hit me! THIS SUCKS! And it's still not over! Hey, the good thing is I am writing some awesome songs lol! Adele, won't have anything on me when I'm finished. Except, they won't be brake up songs....exactly. Maybe not breaking up with girlfriend songs, more like family and soul breakup. Well, I don't know that I have really processed anything else. I guess you could say that I am slow processor, because this whole thing started 9 months ago, and I am finally starting to grieve. Maybe, part of me didn't want to believe it, or didn't want to have to acknowledge there was 'one more' weight on my shoulders. Random, but have you ever noticed how quickly people get other things in movies?? For some reason I have been watching a lot of chick-flicks lately and my gosh it's so unrealistic. They just jump from one person or another, and somehow this doesn't shatter them on the inside. Oh well...I just feel sorry for the people who believe that love is really like that, that you can actually through your heart around...news flash it's like glass. Sooner or later someone's gonna drop it. Anyway, that's all that's here. For now, that is.