There is something so REFRESHING about a warm breeze blowing after the snow and the bitter cold. It is as if the earth is breathing-in after a long sleep. In so many ways, natural seasons seem to reflect personal spiritual seasons in our lives. At least this has been the case in my life. In so many ways, the snow is melting and the warm is blowing through the very core of me. I woke up this morning, just bathing in the beauty of His Love. Such beauty is in his face. It felt like the warm outside was somehow reviving me on the inside. This season has been a battle not only for me, but for my whole family. In a way, I felt like this morning the Lord woke me up promising that, not only was he faithful, but the cold was over in our family, and their was a warm breeze of healing and refreshing blowing through the entirety of my family. I am so full of joy in knowing that His faithfulness is so true.
Learning to be content where you are, is a lesson that has been ever before my life lately. (I don't know if that statement makes sense, hahaha!) When your at home, living with your parents, and eating their labors and work, life seems so different. Even in a college setting where I am fed 3 meals a day, and surrounded by other lost college kids, it still takes so much of me to be content. Perhaps, because "college" isn't designed to be my life. It's only a phase, and I am beginning to see lights in the distance, and know that in time I will break into the brilliance of sunlight. There in the warmth of the sun, will be the train station. It will be time for me to get off, and drive to my new home.
No one ever tells you that being a dreamer, or carrying dreams is this heavy....Being the way I am, it's hard to even be around people who don't dream big like me. I think that's one of my most reaccuring pains in life. I am surrounded, so much of the time, by people who sleep, and yet don't dream....I can't do that! I've been a dreamer as long as I can remember. I'll never forget the nights that I couldn't sleep. My soul was soaring with the possibilities of what I could become. I would sneak quitely out the front door, and walk down the street, and talk to God about my dreams. I felt this hugeness on the inside of me. At times, it felt like I was gonna explode if I didn't find some way to let out some pressure. In the darkness of the night, God would ease my hugeness with the hugeness of His own heart of dreams. In those moments, I felt like He was letting me in on His dreams, and they always seemed to fill up the sky with the colors, and the life in them. Watching the stars, looking so helplessly, to see His face in the sky, I felt so close to His heart. At least, He...understood my need and want to dream, because, he too, was full of exploding dreams.
It's been years since then, and I still go out into the stars, and share dreams with God. No matter how BIG my dreams seem, His are always bigger. Always.......
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